Tuesday, October 7, 2008

What I would do for a Klondike Bar

1.  Extract two dollars from wallet, so as not to have enough capital to go crazy, but giving myself a little leeway nonetheless.

2.  Walk to the gas station across the street.

3.  Select Klondike Bar (checking for dents, unwrappings, etc).

4.  Peruse shelves for other potential delights.

5.  Approach counter.

6.  Pay.

7.  Return home.

8.  Consume Klondike Bar with great voracity.  

The pros and cons of John Mccain suffering a stroke on the debate floor (the democratic perspective)


By having a stroke, Mccain will have given the American public hard evidence of his hithertofore hinted at enfeebled state.

He will potentially withdraw from the election, due to falling into a vegetative state.

He may not survive.


By having a stroke, Mccain will incite the pity of the American public, who will then vote for him.

And he may not survive.

Why it is evident to me that we have not reached the future ... yet.

Our clothing is still woven primarily of natural fibers that sometimes itch, not fluid, temperature controlled, silvery moon-threads.

We have not begun reducing greenhouse gas emissions by the most obvious means: teleportation. 

Jet pants are not available for mass consumption in the American market.

Will Smith continues to work exclusively in fictional films.

The economy is down the tubes, probably due to lack of jet pants.

Elvis is still dead.

Robbie Williams' fervent belief in aliens is not exactly considered regular.

An iphone (while certainly more futuristic than many other gadgets) can not make a perfect ham sandwich ... yet.